Day 1:

Friday morning i had to report to work for 4 hours to 1.) Go golfing with the owner of a local bank in town to discuss some work we are doing with them. and 2.) make Bryan, Rich's and Keith's "Special" awards.

So 1 p.m. rolls around and i bolt out of here faster then harry to an all you can eat buffet. Had to make a quick stop at home for a few things i forgot to pack and i hit the road. Needless to say i was a little excited to get to the campsite for a few reasons. i decided to take the back way so i could exercise the impala's motor and go a "Little" faster then the posted speed limit seeing as cops rarely patrol that stretch of road, or used to never patrol i may add....

so i'm cruising at 70 in a 55 and i see a car pull over to the side of the road facing me... great... get closer... yup sure enough.... state trooper... oops, go by and he spins around and starts following me.. followed me for 4 miles and by then i'm just wondering why i'm not pulled over yet. all of a sudden my phone rings as the trooper get's closer.. hrm... put in my headset..
"Hello?"
"Danny it's Matt's dad, you mind slowing down a bit from now on?"
"yes Mr. Herboldt."
"Okay have fun at haydays."

Heart starts beating normal again..

I take a quick pit stop in Rush City at Dennis Kirk to pick up some dirtbike parts real quick and continue my drive. I call Keith and Andy to see where they are being i was only like 15 min away and I find out they are at the liquor store... Go figure right? so i think nothing of it and i get to my exit to the campsite. i pass a gas station and liquor store in centerville, look over and think to myself.. boy that ford looks familiar... sure enough Andy and Keith (with my Girlfriend) are STILL at the Liquor store... thinking to myself now... oh man is this going to be a rough night for someone, and someone it was... haha.

So i pull into the campsite to see the local retard Butcher_Boy stationed at home base with cooler out and 2 beers in hand... apparently if you drink 2 at a time they don't get cold? or whatever his philosophy was i dunno, so we say hi, shakes hands *once he put one of the beers down* and i begin to setup camp. *Enter shy* Seems andy and keith managed to tear themselves away from the liquor long enough to get into the truck and make the final 2 miles to camp. I introduce Eric to shy and shy and i finish setting up the home away from home (1980's dome tent that i caught so much **** for, BUT would stand through almost everything including bryan, *see day 2*)

Now 15 min after camp is setup we see this poor man's Escalade roll up and out come Flatlander_Summit and The_hog, was soon after that i realized that no one calls The_Hog by Hogger, hog, or any variation of that... it has to be "The_Hog" like he was some sort of Business Professional, which i found out later he was... Timmy was a pro at getting unsuspecting victims absolutely bombed off their asses with some homebrew... next thing i know, Andy (Fasacs and Cuzzi) come walking over with a Cooler that looked like a ****ing mini-bar with all sorts of alcoholic beverages incased in ice. no sooner then the cooler finds it's resting place in hoggers site then out resident Aussie-Asian dives in for the grey goose...

we bull**** for a little bit when Erick and Rock pull up and come over, BS with erick a little before shy and i take off for the Mall of America, she's never seen it so i figured i'd show her around and meet up with some old friends from when i used to live in the cities. Wolfie texts me letting me know she's 250 miles out and having some car issues, so i told her to give me a call as she nears the campsite and i'll guide her in (figuring i'll be back by the time she get's here *being MOA would be closed by then*)

So we are in the MOA and go eat at Bubba Gump Shrimp, good food, but expensive as hell, should have at least got a good looking waitress for the price we were charged, but oh well. So MOA is now closing down around 10 pm, pull out my phone to see i have 9 missed calls and 3 text messages.. oops, never heard my phone in the mall.. look at see who it is.. 7 calls from wolfie and 2 from bryan..... Great, wolfie is lost in down town St. Paul. send her a text to she were she's at and she replies the campsite. SAWEEEEEET! no need to call in the search party. So i give bry a call to see what's up since last i heard from him, the jeep was on fire and some dude rear-ended the trailer. (you can not make this up)

so this is what the conversation goes like:

"Daaaaaanay! what's up brotherman?"
"Sup gocheese?"
"Dude you at the site?"
"Nope on my way back from MOA with shy"
"i guess keith is beyond ****faced, worse then we have ever seen (and we've seen some rough nights with keith)"
"Oh yeah?"
"I dunno if he's still vertical (he wasn't) but he's going to be hurting"
"Where ya at bry?"
"Oh about 2 hours out"
"okay see ya at the site"
"Later"

Get back to the campsite to see the party has migrated from hoggers site to my MINI-site. we had to have 30 people on a site no bigger then 3 cars put side by side.

That's where i see it... One of the ND boys had picked up a inflatable sheep and given it as a token of their appreciation for ACM's moderating duties on SF.

*Okay break time*
Night of Day 1

the sheep even make authentic Sheep sounds. Soon after that i started hearing this entertaining story about cuzzinolaf.

Apparently after a half a bottle of grey goose and few hits on Timmy's homebrew Cuzzinolaf was feeling no pain and began to "Hump" anything that moved, Thankfully i was not there through that escapade, but the remains of Cuzzi's Blackberry holder and phone where scattered across my campsite. Further into the night after 2 successful face plants into hard Minnesota dirt (must have liked the smell or something....) Cuzzi found himself laying in the middle of the gravel road. Then there were light of what was thought to be the park ranger, turned out to be the Sheriffs Deputy. That is when Cuzzi's military training kicked in and he comando rolled off the road into some near by tree's, not masking himself behind the tree's, but instead pulling one small twig down over his face in trying to camouflage his white skin (must not have had grease present...) In his stealthy presence he must have decided to give the dazed sheriff a little hint to the prowess of his hiding abilities for he removed the cloak of the yonder tree just long enough to yell out "you can't see me" before going back into full stealth mode.

After the sheriff left Andy decided that it was time to put young keith to bed, dunno why, but i'm assuming it had to do with him either not bring enough bail money to get cuzzi out of detox, or fear of us not being able to find him in case he were to move from his secret hiding place.

The rest of the night entailed the arrival of King Douchebag and Mrs. Douchebag, And of course Wolfie's Hubby (Dirty_Harry). Wolfie getting a sip of homebrew and then short after disappearing into her tent (score #2 for timmy) to sleep off what inevitably would have cost her to do something stupid with hubby. Butcher_boy after a case and a half of Coors and 3 shots of homebrew decided that he wanted to go to the bar (Score 3 for timmy) and stormed off in a blazing glory towards the unsuspecting bar with tunes a blaring. 30 min later he returned tunes still a blaring complaining about how they refused to serve him (can't see why the wouldn't, being as he couldn't walk a straight line if a wall was there holding him up). so him and Quinlan and the rest of the ND boys drank and bitched till around 4am until finally the chaos stopped and Shy and i could get some sleep.... WRONG!
Day 2:

Saturday morning started about 7am with the aroma of some hogger home cookin. walked out of my tent into a warzone of crumpled beer cans, beer bottles, jag bottles red bulls and a now deflated sheep (Articcatmatt strikes again!)... yep, party must have once again for the 3rd year in a row been hosted on my site... Took a quick once around the loop to see who's functioning and who's still recovering from friday night (as well as take a quick run to the porta****ter) Turns out the only two functioning besides shy and myself where Hogger and flatty, who proceeded to open a bottle of champagne? and dump in some orange juice... (must be breakfast of champions in ND...)

I stayed at their site for a while and helped clean up hoggers cookin and jayme kindly help me clean up the disaster area known as my site or Ground Zero. After that i crawl back into the tent and try to fall back asleep since no one is moving, then i hear it...
"Hey Danny"
"Yes Keith?"
"You didn't see my phone did you?"
"Hogger said he saw one on his table last night"
"Can you call it?"
"Yeah sure, shy you have your phone?"

To my amazement keith's brand new blackberry storm was laying in the ground some 25 feet from my tent and magically survived the ENTIRE night without being stepped on and crushed, talk about a miracle...

so figured, **** it and got up and took Wolfie and shy over to the showers to get a morning shower in before we head to dust days.
after a quick stop at Subway and conversing with a few cannuks we proceeded to haydays, the familiar traffic jam was a warm welcoming to the largest snowmobile swap in america. There was race fuel fumes in the air and BRAAAAAAAAAP blimps all over the place. Had to be haydays, So we pay to get in and make a B-Line straight to the SF booth to get some shirts (figured out in the first 2 sec of being in the sun that my black SN shirt was NOT the color to wear) so $30 bucks later i was sitting comfy in a new gray shirt.

Few min later P-1man and the ole lady finally roll in to meet the GF and go check out the new Polaris Sleds, Could tell after looking at the Rush and asking me non-stop questions about the new suspension it uses (like i was a Polaris Engineer or something) that P-1man was getting all excited about these new sleds and must have taken his viagra that morning, so the wife and i decided to split before i'd have to admit to being the ole man's son...

So we went across the way to watch some freestyle action. saw a few quads, bike and a Rev XP (must have stiffened the chassis up some for it ran over a pine cone on a few occasions...) and then proceeded to go through a few isles at the swap.

I wasn't feeling the greatest (less then 3 hours of sleep will do that to ya) so we headed back to the SF booth to sit back, relax and BS with Erick and his ole man. Dunno how it started, but erick's ole man and i got started on EFI and DI systems and figuring out solutions to the lubrication issues that the Ski-doo's suffer from and reason why it has yet to be adopted into the 800 motor. also got some neat info about setting up a turbo on a 600 motor and how the CFI system on the 600 can handle that increased fuel pressure needed, which was awesome.

*break*

We sat and BS'd with erick and company for like 2 hours while watching the grass drags behind us and the freestyle show in front of us. Got to meet some SF guys that i had no clue the hell they were, but they knew me? Go figure.

Few min after that i get a call from out fearless admin, told him we were at the SF booth and he said to stay put he was on his way and would be there in 15 min to grace erick with his presence... (and they say keith and i power trip with our moderator status..) 45 min later there seems to be a sudden swap of SN and SF members around the booth, apparently bryan had made a few phone calls or everyone just has that sense about them that the admin is making his presence known?? So anyways, The ole man shows up as well. Keith comes out of full commando mode and reveals himself to the world, must have been trying out a new cologne called alcohol for he reeked of last nights booze. So everyone BS'ed for a little while longer until IBS made the demand that we all go out and try to hunt down a skid for the turd. We take off on the assault of the last few remaining isles of the swap until jamie starts having heat exhaustion or something. So bry takes her back to get some water while shy and i walk in search of the skid.

We found nothing, Not even a 144 Edge skid. hell we only saw 1 144 skid in the last 11 rows of the swap, plenty of X-tra 10's, but nothing bry could use. so we head out back to the campsite, try calling wolfie to see where she is, but no answer, so we take one last spin by the SF booth to see if she's there, nope, so we head to the car and go back to the campsite. Get there to see one of butcher_Boy's bud's on the site, then no more then 2 sec after i'm out of the car i get a call from cuzzi saying they are going to a buds house (buddy in minnesota when they are from chicago? okay) and said it looked like it was going to rain (not a cloud in the sky in any direction i could see) and asked if i could check the tent to see if any windows were open. okay so i run down the way to check the tent and make sure it would survive this imaginary flood cuzzi was expecting.

so get back to the tent to see Butcher_boy blazing down the road in his loud ass GMC blaring some death metal music of some sort (heard a LOT of that **** this weekend.) He introduces me to his buds and then i say i'm going to take a nap before everyone else get's back and all hell breaks loose. So just on the verge of falling asleep when i hear bryan pull up in the jeep

"Where's Danny?"
"In the tent sleeping"

Oh great... so you hear IBS running up towards the tent, ground shaking and i'm just thinking to myself "oh dear god he's going to belly flop the tent." all of a sudden stakes start coming out of the ground in attempts of trying to collapse the tent on top of me. This is where i learn bout the high quality 1970's engineering of the dome tent as the thing would not collapse, even after stretching out 4 of the 5 legs it stayed strong while holding my towel above us. Then i tell IBS if he collapses the tent he wont get his plaque, which instantly stopped his onslaught on our poor tent, (he must like shiney engraved things for he started putting the tent back together. So i said **** trying to sleep and went out to BS with the guys for a while, that is when jamie started complaining of getting eaten alive by bugs. and being knocked up by IBS she can not use bug spray that contains DEET, (which was everything we had on hand) so i was hired as the navigator. so we went to the local Gander Mountain, and found the bug spray which had a minty scent to it (apparently that **** is supposed to work?) so our second task was to locate some tiki torches, which Gander Mt. had NONE! so we mosey on out of there to Forest Lake in attempts to locate a few torches, After a little Off Roading through a ditch and jumped a curb we arrived at the menards parkinglot. IBS assured us that he has spent many a time in the local menards and all of them are laid out the same, 15 min later IBS flags down some help in locating the oil for the torches (flags down by waving his arms above his head like one of them traffic controllers at the airport) shy and i quickly side-step out of the field of view before the customer service people assume we are associated with this retard in a polo shirt and flip flops... but we get the torches and a candle and head back to camp.

IBS the starts preparing some Hamburger type goolash looking thing that i kid you not probably have more fat due to butter then a doctors can after giving liposuction to a Cornfed midwestern whore, but it tasted pretty damn good. Quick cleaning of the dishes and we were all set. sat around for a while and BS'd with the guys, The ole man and lady said their goodbye's and headed the long 2 hour journey back up to podunk Nashwauk, Minnesota. Nothing was really happening at the site, so shy and i once again decided to get some shuteye. slept for a few hours to Keith, Dirty_Harry, and Wolfie coming back to the site a little tipsy from hoggers homebrew (Score 5-7 for hogger) they BS'ed outside the tent while keith played music and searched Youtube on his Blackberry.. Then harry suggested some gay site for keith to browse, something like meatspin and 2girls1cup..... needless to say after hearing that took away any ambition i may have had to get up and go socialize. so i just stayed in bed.

I must have fell back asleep for a while cause next i heard Ultradouche outside, so i figured i had to get up and go do some debating on twins vs triples, but that quickly faded as Butcher_Boy's dumbass decided he was hell bent on starting a nearby pine tree on fire with his lighter. ACM wandered over to try to stop the madness before he sent my tent and GF up in flames with the tree since it was literally right next to the tree, Not to be out done by mother nature BB decided to use the next best thing to the lighter so he grabbed the torch that had been sitting there protecting us from the onslaught of mosquito's. Apparently the tree was more alive then BB had anticipated for it never caught flame and BB sat down in pure disappointment. Zippi showed up a little more then 3 sheets in the wind and tried to show us the finer half of his wife, of course Ultra oblidged and was more then happy to see a fine body, but the rest of us knew that zippi was not in the greatest thought of mind and probably wouldn't like us staring, so he put the phone away and started wandering back towards camp (dunno how he made it).

Shortly after that i crawled back into the tent and fell back asleep without my covers since shy had cocooned herself up inside them.

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And as far as making it back to camp...ACM pretty much had to pull me outta the weeds a few times.

Nice review Danny, nice to meet you and im sure ill see you again next year or the year after.

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All that meyhem and no video!?!?!

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ACM has pictures....

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Is he home yet, or still drivin?

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ACM and i got home yesterday about 10:00 AM, drove strait through

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I see you must be writing for the inquierer.

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i don't get paid, so must be a freelance writer lol

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Hey you missed me in that quote above and I got the picture to prove it sucka!

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