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[B)][B)][B)][B)][;)][;)][;)][:I][:I][:I][:I][:eek:)][:eek:)][:eek:)][:eek:)][:eek:)][:eek:)][:eek:)][:)][:)][:)][?][V][^][:X][:0][:(!][xx(][|)][8)][:(][8][B)][:p][}:)][;)][:eek:)][:I][8D][:D][:)]December 8 - 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season
> and the wife and I took our coffee and sat for hours by the window
> watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a
> Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love
> snow!
>
> December 9 - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow
> covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can
there
> be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best
idea
> I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a
boy
> again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the
> snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the
> driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.
>
> December 12 - The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
> disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely
have
> a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll
> have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see
snow
> again. l don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm
> glad he's our neighbor.
>
> December 14 - Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped
> to-20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath
> away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is
> the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything
> again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling,
> but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish l wouldn't huff
> and puff so.
>
> December 15 - 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer.
> Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the
> freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out.
I
> think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all,were in Maine.
>
> December 16 - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ### on the ice in the
> driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an
> hour, which I think was very cruel.
>
> December 17 - Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go
> anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets
on
> to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to
> irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit
it
> to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing
to
> death in my own living room.
>
> December 20 - Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn
> stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Goddamn snowplow came
by
> twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're
too
> busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware
> store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might
> have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have
> to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's
lying.
>
> December 22 - Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more
> inches of the white #### fell today, and it's so cold it probably
won't
> melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out
to
> shovel and then I had to ####. By the time I got undressed, pissed and
> dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a
> plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too
busy.
> I think the ####### is lying.
>
> December 23 - Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife
> wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she
> nuts!!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she
did
> but I think she's lying.
>
> December 24 - 6." Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel.
> Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a
#####
> who drives that snow plow I'll drag him through the snow by his balls
> and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around
the
> corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the
> street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just
> been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and
> open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.
>
> December 25 - Merry f---ing Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn slop
> tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God I
> hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation
> and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad
> attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A
> Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the
> microwave.
>
> December 26 - Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It
was
> all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.
>
> December 27 - Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze, plumber
> came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $15,000 to
> replace all my pipes.
>
> December 28 - Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. THE B*TCH is
> driving me crazy!!!
>
> December 29 - 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it
> could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does
he
> think I am?
>
> December 30 - Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver he is now
> suing me for a million dollars not only the beating I gave him but
also
> for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his azz. The wife went
> home to her mother. 9" predicted.
>
> December 31 - I set fire to what's left of the house. No more
shoveling.
>
> January 8 - Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they
keep
> giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?
>
> MERRY CHRISTMAS to All you Northerners, hahaha[:I][8D][}:)][}:)][:p][B)][:0][:0][:0][:0][:0][:0][:X][:X][:X][:X][^][^][V][V][V][:eek:)][:eek:)][:eek:)][8)][8)][8)][8)][8)]
 

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My grandpa has a similar one on his wall in his garage...it's hilarious. I printed another similar one offline one time....they're all great.
 

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That's too funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!Thanks for the laugh
 
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